When I was young, I dreamed of having the fairy tale life. In 2002, I married my best friend. Years later we had two children; a daughter and a son. We knew our life was complete and I felt that I had it all. Being a mom was the one thing in life I wanted to be and be good at. Little did I know, my life would hit several potholes in the road that would feel like mountains to climb. In 2013, my son was four years old and lost his life after getting struck by a car while riding his bike. The accident made me a stronger and a more faithful person. After my son’s accident, my husband and I had another son in 2015 and he could not be more of a spitting image of my first son. Same hair color, same attitude, same build, and the list goes on. We catch ourselves daily, looking at our son now and realizing how much he reminds us of our late son. Although I think this is normal, we do have to take a step back and recognize that they are two different boys.
As life goes on, you learn to deal with the pain of losing a child differently and put daily life into perspective. Many people go through trails that can make or break them. Our family stands on two different quotes.
“Enjoy the little things in life for someday you will realize they were the big things.” – Kurt Vonnegut
“Your life is made up of two dates and a dash. Make the most out of your dash.” – Unknown
Both of these quotes are so true to life. As I think about them, I think about how crazy life was when my first son was here. But I realize that those “crazy” moments were some of the most treasured memories that I will remember the rest of my life.
I think as moms we all live for what is next or in the future. We all say, “I cannot wait till I have a baby.” The baby arrives and life is crazy. “I cannot wait until my baby is out of diapers.” The baby soon gets out of diapers and we continue to live for what is next because we believe that is when life will calm down, but living in the moment is what we need to cherish. I struggle with this all the time when life seems to go crazy at my house. But worrying and waiting for the next stage in life does not bring us contentment in the moment we are in right now. The only thing to do is live everyday as if it was your last.
Tiffany lives in Winston Salem, NC with her two children and husband. She taught Elementary school for 13 years and is now a stay at home mom. She loves photography, reading, spending time with her family, and going to the lake.